You are currently browsing the monthly archive for September 2009.

So, as you may have noticed I am keeping full, clear/direct face shots off my blog.  Well at least for the time being anyways.

There is some important life stuff going on at the moment.

It makes me a bit bummed that I cannot be 100% open and honest, but thems the breaks I suppose.

I have been musing over this for 2 weeks and have pondered quite a bit over it.  At first I was really disturbed that I couldn’t fully display my truth and it made me feel disafected about what I wanted to achieve in this space…

But now I am more accepting that my life circumstances will sometimes affect the way I want to be heard.  If it’s for the greater good I just need to suck it up and work within the parameters I can safely traverse, on the internets, and in general too, at that point in time…

Sometimes I really am the idealist everyone accuses me of being.

I may end up with RSI by the end of summer…

*prays for a spring fling*

It would be really nice to have a little fun with someone new though.  I find myself looking at strangers on the street with interest, walking along in the sunshine and humming to myself.  WTF is happening to me!?!



Why thank you ever so much Captain Libido you have returned!

After getting super trashy at the party on the weekend, I spent some quality time browsing over at on a friends laptop in the very early hours of Saturday morning.

I then proceeded to spend all of my money.  I can’t afford to eat this week, but I will masturbate until I am no longer hungry when all my sexy implements arrive.

My payment confirmation email came yesterday so I shall have many sexy toys within the next 2-3 days.  Yay!

I have also made the executive decision to make my adult dating site profile invisible for the forseeable future.  I just don’t have the time to meet these people and as it gets warmer I lose the desire to sit in front of my pc surfing and chatting to random men who want to fuck me in uncomfortable places.

And I don’t mean in the back of a Volkswagon.

So spring has sprung and whilst I am still super horny I have resolved to solve my lack of sex with an arsenal of toys, rather than dicking around on the internet with a bunch of random guys.

I’m one of those girls who find it “difficult to orgasm” – well actually more to the point, it’s difficult to *make* me orgasm.  But I can make myself come just fine…

No one actually ever really bothers to go to the effort to either digitally or orally make me orgasm.

I’m constantly met with this ‘you need to come from sex or I’m not going to bother otherwise’ attitude.  And basically it’s pretty rare for me to be able to orgasm from penetration alone.  I’ve only been able to achieve this with one of my partners and I’m pretty certain it’s because of the rather unique shape of his cock.

Without clitoral stimulation I can’t come.  Sex alone is very enjoyable and pleasurable, but I would really like to see someone putting in the time and effort to help me achieve orgasm.

I do have a little clitoris and when I’m aroused it moves around a lot under stimulation, but no one has tried to learn my body enough to make it happen.


This has got to stop!!!  Next time I am interested in someone, whether purely sexually or in terms of a relationship I am going to be pretty straight about my sexual expectations: “please make me come from oral sex and digitally sometimes and you need to do both of these things (not necessarily ending in my orgasm) in foreplay HEAPS!!!

Yes I finally have enough balls to say that my pleasure needs to come first sometimes, instead of instantly getting into this routine when I just suck his cock and then we fuck.

I demand satisfaction.

So in the few weeks after my period I tend to experience a drop off in my desire to masturbate and/or have sex.  But it always frightens me a little when I don’t experience arousal for a few days consecutively…  What if I never get horny ever again!?!  Laf.

I currently feel mostly deviod of sexual desire.  I don’t think I will ever get used to these brief lulls either…  As a highly sexualised person, it just feels so… odd.

Although interestingly a response to direct stimulation still seems to occur, for instance if I am touched or watch pornography I still get aroused…  Last night I did not feel horny at all, but I masturbated to see what would happen and although I still achieved orgasm it took me quite some time and a lot of effort to get there.

*strokes beard thoughtfully*  Interesting.

Hopefully I’ll be back to my perverted best by the weekend.  There is going to be a big combined housewarming and birthday party on Friday night, it’s fun being frisky at such events.  It also seems to bring out my filthy sense of humor which most of my friends seem to enjoy.

Good day to you, I’m off to work now. xo

I really like receiving oral sex.  I also really enjoy giving it.  I can deep throat, I enjoy giving a bj and I find the act itself pretty damn hot.  But it would seem my willingness to do this and the fact I generally initiate this sexual actual somehow precludes me from getting any oral loving in return.

It sucks.  Literally.

I’m feeling really paranoid about it…  Like seriously, WTF is wrong with my pussy that makes people so fucking adverse to eating it, or like at present even touching it AT ALL?

I really like what I have, I think it’s pretty and compared to many other vagina’s quite petite.  (Yes, I know, vagina envy)

This is an ongoing thing and it’s just crap.  Even when I’ve been honest and upfront about my own sexual desires (i.e can you please put your mouth on my vagina?) it’s met with resounding silence or evasion, or worst of all excuses.  Since when did we live in a society of men who don’t go down on women?  Or is it just me that’s bereft?

This is actually beginning to get pretty upsetting.  What’s the point of having sex if a big part of what I want out of the experience is lacking?


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