My life is kinda spastically busy atm.  Between insanely busy work, friends, my own stuff, family, moving house, social commitments etc etc sometimes me and the guy struggle to get time together.  And some of the time when we do actually get to see each other I’m so buggered I can barely make sentences… let alone perform any kind of amazing sexual feats.

Which sometimes means my partner is initiating sex that there is no way in hell I can participate in without actually falling asleep mid fuck.

In my past relationships, including fuck buddy situations, my libido has far outstripped my partners and I have thus emasculated them (or so aforementioned partners have claimed).

I’m currently in a position where, for the first time, my partner wants sex more than I do.  And to be perfectly honest I just don’t know how to deal with it…

It’s such an odd feeling and in these instances of him wanting to fool around when I all I want/need to do is sleep, I’m not handling it real well.  Especially if we’re in bed and I’m already half asleep, I’m pretty much making an annoyed sound and shaking off his hands.  When I’m in the cold light of day and recall this behaviour it makes me cringe inwardly, for being such a snooty bitch.

I am going to talk to him about how I’ve been feeling about this, but at the same time it’s tough – sometimes when I am half asleep and he starts touching me I get interested enough to be fully aroused and happy to engage in sex…  I can’t foretell those times and sometimes when he does start to touch me as I’m falling asleep, I think to myself “there is no way in hell” and end up having crazy late night sex.

I feel kind of afraid of the sex I’ll miss out on by talking about this – as soon as we do talk about it I think it will affect the way, if not the frequency of when he initiates sex…  But at the same time I feel awful for being a grumpy cow to him the times he does initiate sex and I am too tired.

I also feel like at my age I shouldn’t even be experiencing this.  How badly is my libido going to die if I have kids and a job and a house to keep?

Right now I have so much on, I just wish life could slow down for a bit so I could get my mojo back.

*sigh*