This post is dedicated to k.j.
As per the diagram above^ vulvas come in all kinds of variations… None of them seem ‘right’ or ‘ wrong’ to me. I think #27 is my personal favourite, the vulva I find most asthetically pleasing so to speak. However if I was presented with any of these vulvas, by someone I wanted to get busy with, I’d be pretty fucking happy to bury my face into any of them. I reckon a lot of guys probably share this sentiment too. Although I can only speak from my own experience with men to make this fairly sweeping statement.
I think we always tend to want what we don’t have ourselves.
I also think we tend to think we’re freaky, ugly, weird and so on. I mean, of the images above I don’t think I look like any of them, although #29 is probably the closest and my inital reaction was ‘jeez, I’m not really identifed in any of these examples…’
This is me:
So as you can see, not a lot to see unless I genuinely spread my legs. I tend to suffer, although not too much, from vagina envy… I want a fuller vulva but really do love what I have and what it does for me. As you can see I don’t have particularly defined outer lips, but everything I do have is tucked inside me and all of my genitals are right underneath my pelvis, rather than kinda starting towards the front. It seems loads of women have more vulva starting on the front of their bodies, I don’t for whatever reason and honestly that’s fine.
Also, now that I have full pubes, you can’t even really see anything defined much behind the brunette fuzz if I’m standing front-on naked.
Image source: Mike Dowson
I particularly like the image above as it clearly shows 2 very, very similar bodies – breasts, hips, shoulder width and torso length ect are evenly matched. However these ladies have very different vulvas. It shows that no 2 women are the same, despite, at first glance how similar they look.
Basically, what I’m driving at here is that we should try to accept, value and try our best to succeed at loving what we have. Don’t judge yourself as ugly, because it’s an unhelpful, negative and pretty closed way of looking at yourself and kind of by default, others as well. It’s tricky sometimes and we cannot do this every single day, but try to celebrate yourself and your body. Be kind to yourself both in thoughts and words.
Self love, in all it’s expressions is a beautiful and wonderful thing and I encourage everyone, everywhere to take some time to enjoy yourself and be nice to yourself.
xo
11 comments
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October 18, 2010 at 8:24 am
Fargo
I love your vulva. It’s one of those ones that just begs to be teased open with a lot of tongue wrestling.
Now my penis? Hideous to look upon.
October 18, 2010 at 11:31 am
yeahbutnobutyeahbut
I think penises are quite pretty actually.
Making intimate comments about my lady bits, as if you know me, on my blog and totally out of context makes me feel kind of gross.
Please don’t. That’s not why I’m here doing this.
October 18, 2010 at 4:09 pm
Fargo
Terribly sorry to have caused such a feeling, I meant that as a general comment on the look of it and how it related to presented topic. Won’t happen again.
October 19, 2010 at 2:09 am
yeahbutnobutyeahbut
It’s okay, I honestly don’t think you intended to come across this way but wanted to make myself clear on how your comment was read.
This is the internets, things get misconstrued, it’s all good and I hope you keep reading and can comment freely.
Thanks for coming back to explain yourself though, really appreciate it.
🙂
October 19, 2010 at 3:28 am
Fargo
Indeed they do, and if I’d taken some more time to think on it instead of commenting off the cuff I would have structured my thoughts differently on the matter. Your blog rocks and I’m so glad that you’ve stuck with it.
October 19, 2010 at 9:21 am
yeahbutnobutyeahbut
We all get a little off the cuff sometimes.
Thanks heaps, that means a lot… I don’t really get a lot of comments so it’s difficult to know if people dig what I’m doing. Although that isn’t the reason I’m writing here, but it would be nice if someone else aside from me is getting something out of this space.
My stats say a bunch of folk read me, so I think I need to stop being so ridiculously intimidated and start asking questions or opinions of my readers. (I have this massive fear no one will respond to me, it’s stupid I know!)
October 20, 2010 at 6:13 am
Nio
“Don’t judge yourself as ugly, because it’s an unhelpful, negative and pretty closed way of looking at yourself and kind of by default, others as well.”
That’s a great comment, the bit about “others by default” because it’s so true. I try never to criticise myself in front of my friends, because I know when they say things like “I feel fat” it cause me to criticise my own body.
October 21, 2010 at 10:59 am
yeahbutnobutyeahbut
Thanks lady, I’m trying to be positive about myself and my body to encourage others to do the same… It definitely goes both ways though, as you said.
xo
October 21, 2010 at 4:30 am
sexgenderbody
This is a fantastic post. Open-eyed, caring, human and very easy to relate to. Thank you for taking the effort to share and say what you did here.
-arvan
October 21, 2010 at 11:06 am
yeahbutnobutyeahbut
Aw, so totally feeling the love. Thank you for such a warm comment.
This is a topic so close to my heart, I get so impassioned talking and writing about it (as you quite possibly noticed).
So many women, and men of course, fight against body-shame or poor body image… I think sometimes feeling unhappy about or uncomfortable with our genitals can be at the core of these issues.
It also makes me sad that censorship in Australia means sometimes the only vaginas we get to see are the edited, trimmed down ones in porn.
I think it’s about time we started celebrating the uniqueness of vaginas!
Thus this post and very possibly (read: definitely) more of this ilk to follow.
3 cheers for vaginas!
October 25, 2010 at 2:45 pm
Laroo
I feel myself related to 8 or 9. Hmmmmmm.