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Hey folks,

Sorry for disappearing. I had to have all my wisdom teeth and a molar surgically removed and it has totally knocked me on my arse. I am currently chasing up my surgeon as the painkillers I was prescribed have made me really ill as well. Trying to get some new medicine sorted today so I can sleep through the night, at least once, before I have to be back at work tomorrow.

Hoping to be back in front of my pc, ranting and flashing my tits, really soon.


Ps. The kickstarter I was backing ‘License to Pimp’ made their funding goal! Yipppeeeeee 😀

Laci Green, sex posi blogger and amazing all round lady has been brutalised for saying a wrong term in a youtube film she made WHEN SHE 18. When it was brought to her attention she issued an apology and explained that she was young, immature and lame for using a derogatory term.

It is totally fucked and I sometimes wonder about humanity.  The internet can be an ugly place folks.

Jezebel have thankfully covered this and called it out for the utter *bullshit* it is.

The article with the ‘offending’ post and the psycho abuse and threats is here:

Laci Green has been totally fucked over by tumblr crazies

I love Laci Green, she openly and honestly demystifies and explains so much about sexuality, putting her face to her name and walking the fucking walk of sex positivity. That is mega ballsy and totally fucking awesome.

She deserves a medal, not to fear her personal safety!

/end rant

I’ve come to realise that I’ve somehow ‘lost’ my awesome sluttiness. I tend to overthink and psych myself out completely these days.

It sucks.

On one hand the way I used to fuck without a second thought was not helpful nor wise and it often wasn’t very fun either. But I have definitely gone too far in the other direction. I’m too tied up in my inner monologue and there is an all pervasive doubt that whilst I’m fun to come onto, no one actually really wants to get it on with me, or it’ll ruin the friendship or I’ll somehow damage my relationship with my spunky man.

Even though, it is completely kosher for me to fuck ladies still, I worry all the same. It’s really stupid.

I am resolved to stop being so goddamn chickenshit. I’m totally buying into my own insecurities and fears, so much of which is tied up in my body issues. I hate admitting it, but those same old fat/ugly/unattractive goblins still sit on my back and whisper in my ears… More so of late, than usual and it’s obviously affecting me in more ways than I was aware.

There is a lovely, beautiful, sexy lady in my life and I let it known I dug her. She reciperacated and I still haven’t done ANYTHING about it, aside from a couple of neck nuzzles and a lingering kiss or two. She is a close girlfriend and I have the paranoia something fierce that I will break the awesomeness we share. I also feel frightened I wouldn’t be able to get her off… She has her own orgasmic issues and uses a very specific and powerful tool.

Wow. In rereading the above I think I’m sexually intimidated. Well this is a first… huh…

Although, we are going vibe shopping together very soon to try to find something else for her to use. Maybe when we return home, we shall consume wine and give the new toy/s a test run, so to speak. The idea of this scenerio is premium wank fodder, like seriously, I’m at my desk terrifically aware of a spreading hot, wet patch in my knickers.

Will I actually fucking follow through though? Can I relearn how to feel my way, rather than kill my passion with too much thinking…?

I certainly hope so. I am genuinely attracted to this woman. I love her as a friend and if we do connect sexually then we really could have a super-sweet time together. I know this. I want it.

*sends sms to make sex-shop date*

This: The most beautiful harness I have EVER seen


I just, might, even have someone to use it on too…

I am currently sitting at my desk, unable to get comfortable.

Why, you ask?

Demented, unabashed, wholehearted and EXTREME horniness. It feels like my snatch is on fucking fire.

Why, you ask?

Nearly bang on 3 weeks ago I stopped taking my high eostrogen dosed contraceptive pill. Immediately after I nearly broke my boyfriends cock I crammed it inside me so frequently. I went through 3 sets of batteries for my vibe.

There has been a minor lull and today my libido is going beserk.

So randy, must get through rest of day. Aaaarrrughghghghghgle.

Is a 2 day solid, uninterupted fuck session with my man.

And maybe some icecream too.

Moving house in 5 days, finish work in 10 days.

When will then be now?

The way we all freak out so fucking hard about the most normal, banal and goddamn necessary bodily functions.

It’s absolutely ridiculous.

Everyone sits on the toilet to pee and poo.  Like everyone, even the queen has to sit on the throne and crap you know!  Every woman has a menstrual cycle and bleeds (shock horror!).  If you’re not a woman personally, then your mum, sister, girlfriend and female friends bleed monthly.  Yes!  It’s true!

Why are we all so frightened and disgusted by the machinations of our earthly vehicles?  Especially with period stuff!?!

Seriously, that icky, inconvenient and ‘gross’ thing happens every month is the reason you’re physically here to even feel repulsed in the first place.  We’re so busy cramming poisoneous wads of cotton up our snatches to make our uterous shedding it’s lining as inconspicuous as possible that we don’t even stop to think what that blood means anymore.

This is going to make me sound like an epic crystal licking hippy, but that blood is life.

Life, in a literal menstrual stemcells will help scientists grow your legs back kind of way AND also, you know, engender you growing another human being inside you if that’s what you choose.

Or the fact that women contain the means to continue the growth of the human race and some may say menstrual blood is symbolic of life itself.

I guess why I get so jacked off though, is because of my own personal experiences.

I have no issues continuing my conversation with you from the toilet, pissing with the door open so we can still chat.  Or talking on the phone, you may hear the loo flush partway through…  I am hornier than thou when I’m just about to and whilst menstruating, I’m not shy to say so and persue gratification.  I’m also really interested in menstrual art, ritual and more recently becoming aware of the outrage so many direct towards period porn.

The reactions that I have garnered from many in regards to holding such views and practises have ranged from shock to down and out utter revulsion.

I think that’s really fucked up.  It also really makes my blood boil that so many feel absolutely justified to tell me precisely how ashamed I should be of my body and the wonderful things it does and in turn clearly illustrate this attitude is the societal norm.

Balls to that.  I do my best to feel nothing but love for all the sticky, squishy, fragrant, miraculous and bloody incredible things my body does.

You should give it a shot too.

This is NOT a sexy post at all.  You have been warned.

So, for the past 3 days I’ve had a chronic and rather painful UTI.  It’s slowly abating today, I started anti-biotics yesterday and things seem to be improving.  I’m currently eating 2 anti biotics a day, a triple dose of pro biotics, cranberry capsules, paracetamol if my abdomen hurts and drinking Ural salts twice daily.

And I’m over it.  I was not needing to pee incessantly after the first day, but have been in pain since and it fucking sucks.   Every time I urinate it’s uncomfortable at best and excruciating at worst.

I think I’ve pinpointed the cause too.  Fricking condoms.  Every-time I’ve had  UTI’s in the past few years it’s been around the time I have used condoms consistently.

I’ve stuffed up my taking my pill once or twice with my man and needed to use condoms for the 7 consecutive days until my pill is effective again.  When I think about when we initially got together we used condoms frequently and I struggled with UTI’s from time to time, but could mostly deal with it with cranberry and loads of water within a few days.

We both were STI tested fairly early in the piece and unless I haven’t taken my pill properly, which is seldom, we don’t really use condoms.  I already have bad reactions to most lubricants, so really this reaction could be caused by the lube that is already on the condom.

I’ve purchased some non-latex condoms to see if this same issue arises in future when we do need to use them…

Went to the doctors again this morning as I was due for a smear test.  Whilst the procedure itself was fine, my doctor informed me I had the beginnings of thrush in the very top of my vagina.  She said I wouldn’t have symptoms yet, but it’s there right up the top.  And I don’t have symptoms yet but I sure as fuck don’t want to have any.  So off to the chemist for $40 worth of treatment.

The money I’ve spent on doctors and medicines this week has been astronomical.  Hmph!

Thankfully she also told me cystitis infections are dealt with within 3 days of taking anti biotics, so I can stop taking them tomorrow.  Hooray!

I’m off to the bush tomorrow, me and my man are going camping with a group of friends.  There is something supremely fun about camping in winter.  We’ll have a generator so we can have lights and music and such, it will hopefully shape up to be an awesome weekend.

My UTI symptoms are thankfully gone and will hopefully stay that way, I have started the thrush medicine so *fingers crossed* the clean air and relaxation (and the shiteload of meds I am consuming) will do what they’re supposed to.

I have faith.

For me, writing this blog is, at times, like treading a fine line.

I feel like I can’t post too frequently (or mostly) sexy pictures and hot fucking stories or my blog will arrive at a place where I will be subjugated or not ‘taken seriously’…  Sometimes I think this stuff is all in my head, but to be honest, on the whole I think that the aforementioned perception of me would be accurate if I didn’t have anything else to talk about here but sex and posting rude photos.

This kinda pisses me off.  It mostly pisses me off that I even consider this stuff full stop and that if I critically appraise myself then I very probably actually buy into this notion.  ‘If all I submit to a space is content that titilates I will not be respected or considered intelligent, I may be considered without personal morals or self respect… especially by other women’

Is this sort of perception genuinely real, or am I just supremely twitchy/paranoid about being judged negatively?  Well… if quite a number of people I know, good people, every day people, friends, aquaintances, family, folk from all over the world that I’ve talked to about this, those that I eavesdrop on, men and women of all cultural backgrounds, ethnicities and sexual orientations that I talk to and work with in my job are anything to judge by, then, yes, it is most certainly a common perception.

Putting shots of my pussy here, pimping adult sites I’m on and being proud and happy of the porn I’ve made, graphic descriptions of sex and my masturbation sessions…  admitting to aspirations of being fucked in the ass by a big hard cock, according to one rather righteous female, asserting the ‘feminist prerogative’ (cos there’s only one you know!) to me, “disempowers and subjugates women everywhere”.

You know what I say?  Fuck. That. Shit.

Anyone that tries to dictate to me, or to anyone else (let alone an entire gender, religion, class, sexual orientation etc etc) what you can and cannot derive pleasure, happiness or fulfilment from disempowers and subjugates the human race as a fucking whole.  By attempting to impose your personal sense of right and wrong as an absolute to me, you’ve just demonstrated your narrow mindedness and hyprocrisy to me so much so that I can gaurantee your sermon will most certainly fail to shame me, let alone actually change me.

So pull your head in, or better still, push it outside the square enough to acknowledge everyone needs to live their own truth and just because yours is right for you or the group you identify with, it’s not what *every* female, male, gay, straight, young, old, christian, catholic, jew, australian, american or WHATEVER needs, wants or will choose.

Now.  I am going to do my damndest to stop my perpetuation of the notion that my porn, fucks, body and desires need to be matched with non-sexual, serious, wordy and ‘intelligent’ musings in order for me to be considered a smart, well rounded, happy, proud, self respecting, feminist, empowered and worthwile woman.

/end rant.

The video clip might interest you

me:  I have no audio on my work pc 😦

Andrew:  :-(Definately worth watching
Discussing whether censorship rules in Australia are distorting people’s view of waht ‘normal’ female gentalia is
Leading to an increase in labiaplasty
Actually includes some detail of the procedure too…

me:  Ahhh, yes I’ve seen that
It was featured on overkill blog
But thank you 🙂

Andrew:  NP
Has always bothered me
I used to occasionally buy the m15 and r versions of the same edition of penthouse to put them side by side
Distrubing shit

me:  Censorship is fucked.  Let alone censorship that makes young girls think their genitals are abnormal to the point of surgical alteration
Really really boils my blood

Andrew:  nods
I think it also distorts men’s view as well

me:  Oh course it does!  But at the same time if you are exposed to enough real womens vulvas guys get an opportunity to see different types.
Women in general, don’t get exposed to a heap of vag’s, except in pron

Andrew:  Gerneally though, prono is stylised to be what you’re supposed to think is attractive:
big boobs
and a featureless cleft
I remember for a while there it was hard to find anything other than a blonde in porno
Definately make you wonder if likeing brunettes better is strange

me:  Laf.  That’s why brunettes and esp gingers make a killing when they get into making films.  The market was starving, for a long time, for something different.

me:  ha
speaking of censorship, the woman who does the ‘show us your tits’ project (world acclaimed art project) had breast feeding images censored by facebook
she went on abc radio to talk about it and now it’s gone worldwide
cop that facecrack!

Andrew:  hehe
I really wish western society would get over this whole boobs/vag/penis/sex is bad thing
Voilence is bad but we can watch that on TV all day

me:  precisely
When did we get all victorian?
There was a teensy bit of liberation for a while there
But the churchies dealt with that
we are adults ffs
I resent my government deciding what I am allowed to watch, download and what I show my kids

Andrew:  I just watched a doco on donkey fucking in northern columbia
I’m pretty sure that kind of thing wouldn’t be allowed through the new filter
But it deals with something that I’m pretty sure happens here

me:  Yup

Andrew:  And everywhere there are men and animals

me:  Don’t give people information, it will give them ‘ideas’ or corrupt children.  It’s happening anyways!  Why not bring it out in the open!

Andrew:  (Incidentally, someone sent me the link after discussing ass vs donkey and tapping ass)

me:  Laf

Andrew:  Interesting 15 minutes
I now know more about it than I really needed to maybe but at least I’m informed now

me:  😉

Andrew:  shrugs
Has changed my view
So maybe that was a good thing

me:  That’s just it!  You should have the right to access information and make YOUR mind up about it

Andrew:  preeching to the choir

me:  I know
I just get really passionate about this stuff…
Sorry 😛

Andrew:  NP
It’s why I mentioned it
(originally, way, way up there ^)

me:  You know me well.

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