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Everything started off rather shakey to be honest. I finished work at 4pm-ish. I raced home as quickly as I could, the front gates to sex camp lock at 7pm and I had an hour drive, possibly more in peak hour, ahead of me. Once home I put everything I had packed the previous evening into the backseat of my car, plus grabbed a few additional items I realised I had forgotten during the day. I flung my clothes off, jumped in the shower, gave myself the quickest scrub in the world, dried myself off and leapt into new clothes.

I had to stop at the chemist and supermarket on my way and in the end I got myself to Yarra Junction no problems, but then managed to get lost on the last road. I frantically called Ash and he directed me to the very last turn off that I had missed.

(Right now I am sitting in a general area in the dorms and there is 1 guy here with me and his music SO loud I can hear outside his headphones. To add to the enjoyment of hearing someone elses muffled tunes, every now and then he sings along in this really low, deep whisper. It isn’t off putting at all, I swear)

So I get through the gates at like 4 minutes to 7pm, pretty stressed and honestly it was a total shambles. Organisationally things were pretty rubbish. The current volunteers were pretty concerned as they thought they currently had more people than dorm rooms. It’s 7pm, in Yarra Junction, it’s dark and it’s cold and muddy, plus I was immediately confronted with a ‘contract’ that you had to sign to enter sex camp. It came off very ‘you’re on your own now and have no legal recourse bitches’.

That piece of paper put me on gaurd from the get-go. I was 50/50 on whether I wanted to engage in any activity, scheduled or otherwise, that involved being touched. I’m kind of iffy about strangers putting their hands on me, in any context, at the best of times really. Although I did want to remain open to the possibility, but that contract told me NO, don’t do that, it isn’t safe.

It’s sort of a shame really, I do think the legality of Sex Camp could have been handled far, far better. I did not see nor know of the aforementioned contract until I arrived. I do not see how it’s fair to have your punters pay $200, $250 and right up to $350 and then present them with a contract, upon arrival, that you HAVE to sign or you cannot enter.

I was directed with my vehicle into the bottom carpark and told to go eat some dinner, then handle my room afterwards. If I had one, that is. Aforementioned carpark was practically a mudpit. I have taken issue at several doofs when organisers put punters into a position where they will need assistance to remove their cars back out, should it rain anymore. Honestly it may not even need to rain further for help to be needed… Thankfully after dinner and the open ceremony I had an opprotunity to GTFO of there and park elsewhere. Thank Babs.

(Seriously, this guy is now sort of moan-breathing now. I am tempted to ask if he is asthmatic and if he needs medicine)

Dinner was lush, the wait in the queue wasn’t long at all, kitchen crew were lovely and smiley. At this point I had not seen anyone I knew, at all. I knew folks were camped *somewhere* but I wasn’t sure where really. I had struck up a convo with an older couple at the front gate and was chatting to them in the dinner line, so it demonstrated that folks would hopefully be friendly enough. Soon after I spotted a lady I knew through doofing, so had a chat to her and sat down together to eat.

After a bit of a run around to go get the promo and give away material I had from my work, as we were sponsoring Sex Camp, I finally finished off my dinner and then one of the lovely ladies I know found me and I was amongst those I feel comfortable with. It was nice.

Dinner ran directly into the ‘opening ceremony’. It wasn’t terrifically ceremonial in my opinion, although I cannot claim to be an expert on such things. Most of what was being said was VERY spirituality based. I am down with crystals, meditation and a bit of healing and reiki etc. However I am not a super spiritual person and I was under the impression Sex Camp was not wholly spirituality focused. There were also some terrifically offensive gender based statements made regarding the womens and mens tents and so on. There was a big jumbled list of what to do and what not to do, mostly concerning toilets and facilities and so on.

(and someone just walked in and helped themself to my chocolate. Apparently sex camp is code for awesome manners)

There actually was a really lovely small ceremony bit, where we all lit candles one by one, via another persons flame and we set our intentions together. The glow of candles on 180 odd faces was incredibly beautiful and moving. We then had an opportunity to stretch our legs and chat to someone we didn’t get know. I was able to speak to the amazing Cyndi from Pleasure Salon, a quick but pretty excellent chat was had. I love Pleasure Salon and it was awesome to speak to the woman behind all it’s information and fabulousness.

Most of the rest of my evening was spent with a volunteer in pursuit of a room and bed. The space they thought was free wasn’t, but upon visiting another dorm I ended up with a bunkbed to myself. I reparked my car and then brought all my gear in by myself. By the time I had all my shit inside, my bed setup and things in some sembelence of order I was totally wrecked. So I crawled into my thermals and settled into my bed nest. 2 blankets, a sleeping bag and nice bedsheets for the win!!

I am really hoping that a tentative offer to attend this totally amazing space does eventuate for me: Sex Camp

When the opportunity initially presented itself I had heard very little about it, except in passing. I am definitely super wary of things that are potentially contact based sex and sexuality workshops – I think there are SO many elements to providing a safe space for sexual exploration and basically I don’t want *anyone* touching me that I haven’t explicitly consented to.

Although one of the first things the site addresses is motivation for attending, that’s it’s not 2 day camping orgy and that the workshops etc are non-contact.

I spent a whole night looking at the site with my partner, reading and delving into the ideas and ethos and the errr, facebook group too. (sometimes facebook feels like such a dirty word)

I am sold. It looks like it will be a beautiful space, an incredibly healing space and the kind of space that would be extremely helpful for me at the moment. I think that there would be so many amazing people to talk to as well. My gosh, the workshops and seminars are just mind blowing and not all 100% spirituality based either. I’m a little shy of full blown energetic orgasm type stuff. I think I hear too much about it, from the wrong people in my job.

If I can attend, I would be doing so on my own. Flying solo. I have blessings from my gorgeous man ‘to experience what I want and need to experience’ which is pretty damn special. I’m sure if it’s totally kick ass he would be interested to attend in future, also exciting to think about too.

Aside from anything it has generated some good dialogue between us and made me much more motivated to pursue real life information regarding sex and sexuality, rather than staying safely behind my computer screen.

I feel my life is beautiful and awesome to be inside.

I feel good, I feel happy, I feel loved, valued and understood. It is such a bloody amazing moment, well evening, to be experiencing.

The only thing that would make this better is knowing that everyone at some point could get this level of heightened perceptions of love and good intentions.

So I am sending this out there to the world:

You are fucking incredible! Special and unique. No one else is like you and that makes your presence in this world such a gift. The only thing that holds us back from knowing how awesome we are, is ourselves! I know in my heart of hearts how totally rad you are, I so hope you do too. The world is full of possibility and positive people, so many new experiences to have and great connections to make.

You’re a bright spark, give yourself permission to shine!

(Taken at Maitreya Festival 2006)

To add to the book of super-sexy awesome adventures.

Awwww yeah. Laf.

A little while ago now, me and the boy went out bush to a small-ish doof party.

Hella fun times were had, there was only a small group of friends camped together and it was a nice mix of folks. The Saturday evening was fun, some drinks, I cooked up a delish bush-carbonara and we were snuggled down in my panelvan together by 3am.

Sunday was brilliant, woke up and ate bacon, consumed caffeinated beverages, then donned my beautiful new corset. I strutted about feeling a million dollars, I recieved loads of compliments, I danced about on the main floor and wandered into the bush a little to let my boy take some photos of my newest garment. (pictures will follow this post, I promise!)

We had to head home at lunchtime to be able to get in, unpacked, washed and dinner-ed in preparation for the working week ahead. On the travels home is when the really, really fun stuff happened…

I was somewhat trashed thus the boy took the driving reins. He isn’t used to driving my car so we didn’t have tunes on. About an hour of the drive in I was down to my knickers and singlet, legs akimbo and having a whole lot of fun in the passenger seat.

Such a turn on to be mostly naked, touching myself, being touched by him in our moving car.  I was adamant – no orgasms til we arrived home.  When there was no other traffic I would touch his cock and put him in my mouth.  Although mostly I was groping myself, enjoying being rough with my breasts and nipples, finger fucking myself and rubbing over my clit.  Periodically showing him how wet I was.

I described one of my most gaurded fantasies to him, in detail.  It’s the first time I have ever told anyone, let alone asked them to actually act it out with me.

I felt so alive and so wild, unihibited and delighting in the dirtiest and darkest parts of my mind.

This rampant touching and teasing play continued the entire drive home, the whole 2 and 1/2 hours and true to my claim, there were no orgasms.  Somewhat hilariously, we ran out of petrol on the massive freeway reentering the city.  I, of course redressed, the freeway patrol attended and we were refueled and on our way home within about 30 minutes.

Once home, we exceptionally quickly unpacked the car and derobed to shower away the dust and dirt.

We closed the door to our bedroom, put on some chilled music and turned on the heater so the cold wouldn’t bother our exposed forms.

…to be continued…

The sun is just coming up, exhausted and sore from dancing my arse off for many hours we head to the tent for some rest.

At the tent he kinda bombs out, is barely fully undressed and we’re kinda fooling around.  Half exhausted, somewhat clumsy touches and strokes all over each others bodies.  I crawl on top.  For about 5 minutes we have erratic bursts of thrusting.  Everything feels extremely pleasurable but we’re pretty much humping and bumping with eyes almost closed.

We slide apart and within about 2 minutes there is snoring coming from my right.

I’m on the edge of sleep but I can’t sink under because all the blood in my body is pulsing inside my vagina.

I fumble into my toiletry bag, pull out my bullet vibe and search frantically for something to penetrate myself with.  I want it to be something big and smooth…  My deodorant bottle.   Bingo!

My perception of time passed is significantly altered when I’m engaging in sexual activity, but I felt like this session went for quite some time.  The sun was fully up and I was acutely aware of all the tents and people all around me, most of whom were my friends (we all camped together at the festival) and I thought that they somehow wouldn’t appreciate the sound of me getting myself off in the middle of their morning.

Trying to be quiet when inebriated, half asleep, totally physically exhausted but aroused as fuck and in the throes of an incredibly intense sensatory sexual experience is difficult.

I think I succeeded.  I certainly hope I did… well no one said anything to me about moaning, groaning, gasping and/or buzzing or wet noises coming from our tent.  Hmmm…

For Babs knows how long I slid the bullet vibe up and down my clit and fucked myself with my deodorant bottle.  To say this felt fucking awesome would be such a gross understatement – I cannot find words adequate to describe the sensation I was experiencing.  I was delirious with pleasure and it just rolled out of me, wave after wave, the entire wank felt as good as a climax except I could fully control it and didn’t orgasm for so very long.

When I finally did come I saw pinpoints of light and my legs spasmed, I could feel my vaginal walls contracting so hard and it felt as though this beautiful, sexual, sensual and highly pleasurable violet coloured energy was rushing out of me – like a tidal wave of orgasm.

I promptly fell asleep.  When Iwoke 4 hours laterI was tangled in a bullet vibe cord and there was deodorant bottle digging into my back.

I have been lacking  in this department for the past little while.  Sorry to those I’ve left hanging, but I have been somewhat bereft of any energy in this space.  When this occurs I would rather take a step back than produce subpar writing or content.

Never fear though!  I am back and digging around in my drafts, as I have at least noted down noteworthy occurances over the past short while.  Things have been pretty peachy with my man and our relationship is going strong, our sexual energy is growing and deepening…  We’ve been having some particularly awesome and nasty sex of late which I am truly looking forward to articulating here.

Been to a bush doof last week also…  Had a rather spectacular lsd induced moment of self loving there too, my guy was by my side in our tent, albiet unconscious and kinda snoring –  it was pretty fucking brilliant him just being there while I experienced such pleasure and joy though.

So looking forward to sharing all the thoughts and experiences of my past little while and  this is in no small part to the fact writing in general will be so much easier as I purchased myself a little acer netbook yesterday.

This post was brought to you by the letter B.  B is for bed, which is where I am currently comfortably propped up and typing away.

Awesomesauce. xo

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Next weekend I am going bush.  Going to drive up to my friends property about 3 hours out of Melbourne, it is a nice big scrubby and tree filled piece of land.  It has a shack that looks deceptively primative, but I am told contains a hot shower!  I know there is a fire place, electricity and toilet there too.

I want to make some beautiful films of myself, take beautiful photos of nature and me and me in nature.  I had dreams about it last night and also about removing my piercing.  The depth and feeling that is still resonating from these dreams has made me certain of what I am going to do.

Firstly, after thinking for some time about it now, I am going to take the jewelry out of my hood piercing.  The piercing has stretched a little too much again and is getting flimsy and awkward, especially when I masturbate.  I find when I’m using a vibrator especially I am really fiddling about to get the jewellry into a comfortable position.  Last night I dreamt I filmed myself taking it out, in the middle of the bush, talking about it and why I was taking it out and then burying it in the ground.  This is what I intend to do when I arrive at the property next weekend.

I also want to film myself wandering around in the early morning, naked, in the green and brown environment, bar some sturdy boots and my knitted, sleeveless cape – I’ll be taking photos of myself, my surrounds and simply absorbing the beauty around me.  I’m aiming to make 2 complete videos of me masturbating, if only 1 of these actually gets done then that’s okay.  The one that is most important for me is the actual outdoors film.  I have always wanted to shoot myself masturbating in an outdoor location, I love proper wide open spaces and the welling of sexual energy that comes from knowing you’re truly alone and can be free without your neighbours peering over the fence.

Obviously I am planning to take a shitload of photos too.   I am so excited.

I’d like to do the second masturbation film on the inside of the hut in the evening with the fire crackling.  Will see though…  That will involve a fair bit of set up with lights etc. 

I feel as though I have rambled on enough here.  I will be making further posts in regards to this.

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