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I don’t exactly wake up in the morning, jump out of bed and fist pump because I have a totally sweet vadge.  Although I have finally arrived at a place where I truly love, accept and celebrate my vagina.  I don’t mind my weeny little labia or clit.  I don’t obsess that I look different anymore.  Once you realise there is no ‘different’ you can be free to fully enjoy all that you have without an inner dialogue of anxiety or shame.  I think what I have is just lovely.  Sex, self pleasure, child birth, orgasms and peeing are all pretty awesome things.  I’m thrilled my ladyparts can accomodate all these wonderful activities.

I sincerely hope more and more women realise they are blessed and brilliant just as they are.

The above piece of writing is what will accompany the image that I shot for a very special project this evening:101 Vagina

The blog or story sharing space of the site, is very, very special… I have been reading the submissions over the past couple of days and I am struck by the honesty of the stories and the feeling of a shared experience. These are all women I don’t know, but we have all battled body shame about the most amazing and beautiful parts of our bodies.

I encourage anyone interested in contributing an image or their story (or both!) to contact Philip, the creator of this project and to get involved. We had a brilliant discussion this evening about vagina-shame, body-shame, media, porn and all kinds of other wonderful and interesting things.

He is especially trying to capture some more images of older women or women of different ethnicities, to give the project balance and to try to give a broad picture of the vagina spectrum.

Hooray for vaginas!

The way we all freak out so fucking hard about the most normal, banal and goddamn necessary bodily functions.

It’s absolutely ridiculous.

Everyone sits on the toilet to pee and poo.  Like everyone, even the queen has to sit on the throne and crap you know!  Every woman has a menstrual cycle and bleeds (shock horror!).  If you’re not a woman personally, then your mum, sister, girlfriend and female friends bleed monthly.  Yes!  It’s true!

Why are we all so frightened and disgusted by the machinations of our earthly vehicles?  Especially with period stuff!?!

Seriously, that icky, inconvenient and ‘gross’ thing happens every month is the reason you’re physically here to even feel repulsed in the first place.  We’re so busy cramming poisoneous wads of cotton up our snatches to make our uterous shedding it’s lining as inconspicuous as possible that we don’t even stop to think what that blood means anymore.

This is going to make me sound like an epic crystal licking hippy, but that blood is life.

Life, in a literal menstrual stemcells will help scientists grow your legs back kind of way AND also, you know, engender you growing another human being inside you if that’s what you choose.

Or the fact that women contain the means to continue the growth of the human race and some may say menstrual blood is symbolic of life itself.

I guess why I get so jacked off though, is because of my own personal experiences.

I have no issues continuing my conversation with you from the toilet, pissing with the door open so we can still chat.  Or talking on the phone, you may hear the loo flush partway through…  I am hornier than thou when I’m just about to and whilst menstruating, I’m not shy to say so and persue gratification.  I’m also really interested in menstrual art, ritual and more recently becoming aware of the outrage so many direct towards period porn.

The reactions that I have garnered from many in regards to holding such views and practises have ranged from shock to down and out utter revulsion.

I think that’s really fucked up.  It also really makes my blood boil that so many feel absolutely justified to tell me precisely how ashamed I should be of my body and the wonderful things it does and in turn clearly illustrate this attitude is the societal norm.

Balls to that.  I do my best to feel nothing but love for all the sticky, squishy, fragrant, miraculous and bloody incredible things my body does.

You should give it a shot too.


Recently I had a girlfriend telling me she knew someone I had worked with in the past.  She was describing me to them as “busty, beautiful, brunette and just ooooooozes sex”…  This description was supposed to identify me to this person she knew.

I blushed.  Hard.  Bright, bright red.  Then giggled self consciously.

See.  In my head I am this ridiculous girl that is mega-silly and a little overweight… Mostly awkward, dorky and lovable in an uber dag kinda way.  My hair tends to fly off in a million different directions, my boobs are absurdly large and I just don’t see myself as this attractive, overtly sexual woman that she was describing.

But upon talking to my partner about my embarrassment at this description, he felt it was actually pretty bang on.

This is when I realise despite how incredibly far I have come, how much I have grown and changed as a person and a woman, I still have some pretty prevalent self image issues.  There are times I feel sexy as hell, I feel damn good and radiate that out into the world…  But it’s a been a long road to get to a place where that’s how I feel, even then it’s really not an always thing by any stretch.

For the most part and on an everyday basis I do feel good about myself.  I’m confident in myself and my abilities, yet in this particular instance I just couldn’t believe it was actually me my gf was describing…

And I want to think that’s me, I genuinely do and need to start doing things that help me believe it.  I think I’ve been so caught up in work, life, my partner, friends, catching up with family and being busy etc etc that some important self-love, reflection and emotional investment in myself hasn’t been occurring.

So, on my agenda for the coming colder weeks and months is more time to myself to do the things that make me feel good.  A lot of my weekday socialising was already getting a little much.  Between my pole course, getting a skating session in, seeing my partner and the upkeep of my home doing social activities is eating into time I should be investing in myself.  I spend all my weekends doing things and seeing people, so I don’t think it’s unreasonable to hold off on the midweek stuff at least for a little while.

Until myself and my partner head to the Blue Mountains in late August, midweek social activities are going to be kept to a minimum.

I will allow myself the time and space to skate and dance weekly, see my man, do my washing and grocery shopping, write and share within this space and a few other corners of the internet, masturbate languidly… sometimes all evening and at other times just do nothing at all.

Sounds pretty brilliant really.

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