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My greatest fear is to ever feel that life has passed me by, but sometimes I do forget the big picture and getting wrapped up in banal minutiae. We’re not on this earth to work 9-5 every day, pay our bills, be polite and do ‘what’s expected’.

It’s time to shake it up, shed my security blanket and go after that which I desire most.

Intertubes, I have something to tell you, something kinda huge…

I asked my partner to marry me.

He said yes.

I was dressed as a unicorn at the time.  It was kind of surreal.  Surreal in the awesomest possible way.

We were laughing and crying.  I don’t think I’ll ever forget that moment for as long as I live.

This intense moment was followed immediately by an intense, emotional, pleasurable and beautiful fuck.  After he came, we lay together and he helped me orgasm too.  I left a small, but satisfying puddle on the bed.

Life is pretty excellent, ya know.

I feel my life is beautiful and awesome to be inside.

I feel good, I feel happy, I feel loved, valued and understood. It is such a bloody amazing moment, well evening, to be experiencing.

The only thing that would make this better is knowing that everyone at some point could get this level of heightened perceptions of love and good intentions.

So I am sending this out there to the world:

You are fucking incredible! Special and unique. No one else is like you and that makes your presence in this world such a gift. The only thing that holds us back from knowing how awesome we are, is ourselves! I know in my heart of hearts how totally rad you are, I so hope you do too. The world is full of possibility and positive people, so many new experiences to have and great connections to make.

You’re a bright spark, give yourself permission to shine!

(Taken at Maitreya Festival 2006)

See more from this artist here:Chelsea Green Lewyta
Via: Sex In Art

I’ve come to realise that I’ve somehow ‘lost’ my awesome sluttiness. I tend to overthink and psych myself out completely these days.

It sucks.

On one hand the way I used to fuck without a second thought was not helpful nor wise and it often wasn’t very fun either. But I have definitely gone too far in the other direction. I’m too tied up in my inner monologue and there is an all pervasive doubt that whilst I’m fun to come onto, no one actually really wants to get it on with me, or it’ll ruin the friendship or I’ll somehow damage my relationship with my spunky man.

Even though, it is completely kosher for me to fuck ladies still, I worry all the same. It’s really stupid.

I am resolved to stop being so goddamn chickenshit. I’m totally buying into my own insecurities and fears, so much of which is tied up in my body issues. I hate admitting it, but those same old fat/ugly/unattractive goblins still sit on my back and whisper in my ears… More so of late, than usual and it’s obviously affecting me in more ways than I was aware.

There is a lovely, beautiful, sexy lady in my life and I let it known I dug her. She reciperacated and I still haven’t done ANYTHING about it, aside from a couple of neck nuzzles and a lingering kiss or two. She is a close girlfriend and I have the paranoia something fierce that I will break the awesomeness we share. I also feel frightened I wouldn’t be able to get her off… She has her own orgasmic issues and uses a very specific and powerful tool.

Wow. In rereading the above I think I’m sexually intimidated. Well this is a first… huh…

Although, we are going vibe shopping together very soon to try to find something else for her to use. Maybe when we return home, we shall consume wine and give the new toy/s a test run, so to speak. The idea of this scenerio is premium wank fodder, like seriously, I’m at my desk terrifically aware of a spreading hot, wet patch in my knickers.

Will I actually fucking follow through though? Can I relearn how to feel my way, rather than kill my passion with too much thinking…?

I certainly hope so. I am genuinely attracted to this woman. I love her as a friend and if we do connect sexually then we really could have a super-sweet time together. I know this. I want it.

*sends sms to make sex-shop date*

A little while ago I spent some time in the studio recording some of my sexy tales.

All the stories I write are personal experiences that I’ve documented as best I can, sexual non-fiction if you will.

It was an awesome and surprisingly emotional experience.  Actually vocalising what I write, which are the things I have actually experienced made me really re-live them via my records of my inner monolgue.  The lovely H whom chose which of my stories I was to read, organised my studio time and worked with me to record them. She told me she has been cyber stalking me via my blog and had sincerely hoped I would agree to tell these tales in the studio, as she felt it just wouldn’t be right for anyone else to read them.  Throughout she was so happy with how me and my stories sounded…  She said she always read my posts here and heard my voice telling them inside her head as she read them.

I was really amazed by this.  I guess I never thought my writing would engage someone so much. It’s a good feeling to know this as I so want to be able to articulate my thoughts, feelings, goals, aspirations, rants, fears and especially the experiences I have well.  The good, the bad and the ugly too.  I just want to be honest and truthful in my ongoing sexual journey and translate that as best I can here.

To be asked to share those stories and throw a wider net of those whom I share my experiences with is absolutely fucking rad, without a doubt. To have my writing bought and then be the person whom is recorded, telling my stories as my inner monologue and being able to relive those awesome times in turn is just incredible.

It makes me feel incredibly inspired to keep writing and investing in my own self documentation.

Going to record a litte more stuff in a week and it’s something I am looking forward to greatly.

See more here:  http://www.behance.net/LinzzaFeldman

I finally fucking did it.

In the almost-daylight early hours of Sunday morning, having not slept and winding down from party-time me and the boy crawled into bed for some lovin’.  This had been drawn out over an afternoon and evening of trashiness at a friend’s birthday party.  At one stage he and I snuck out to the car and had a mutual feel up and love-in session.  So many wonderful chats, a few confessions and a whole lot of mutual love going on…  Telling each other why we love each other, the things we each do that turn us on so much, how we are so dementedly happy it’s obscene – you get the idea.

We had both been wanting each other so badly, for so long, by the time I was laid back on the pillows, having shed my clothing, his hands were on my pussy and I was dripping wet.  He kissed me on my mouth, on my breasts, my tummy and my thighs and had a bright light in his eyes every time he looked up at me.  I don’t know if I have ever felt this amount of love for another human being in all of my life.  Our arousal, our love and our bodies connected took me to a place I can only describe as higher sex.

He ate my pussy for such a long time, I moaned and thrashed and just totally lost myself in pleasure and sensation.  I asked for him to put his hands inside me, he complied and as my pleasure grew and grew I needed more and more fingers.  Partway through he had 4 fingers inside me, whilst mentally this was hot, it was a tight fit and he wasn’t able to rub me inside the way I wanted and he went back to 2, at this point I was about ready to explode…  I was rubbing my clit furiously, which had become fucking huge and the rough rubs over my engorged clitorus and his fingers fucking me felt so incredibly good.  I wanted to feel a big, full, dirty orgasm and decided to add my new butt toy to the mix.

It is by far the largest thing that has ever gone in my ass and after lubing it up, he slid it into me so easily I began to consider asking him to fuck my ass.  I was pondering this idea, running this little fantasy over in my mind with a blue bumpy silicone toy in my ass, his fingers in my pussy and my hand roughly rubbing over my clit.

I came all over.  It is the only way I can describe the orgasm.  It was intense, but not too much so, no involuntary jerking, flailing or twitching just big, beautiful rolls of orgasm sweeping down and through me.  I think I came for quite a bit longer than I usually do.  As I came I pushed the butt toy out of me, but as is our mutually enjoyable preference he kept his fingers in me as I came and in my afterglow he slowly slid them out to taste me.

He was kneeling on all fours over me and kissing me when I realised I felt a pent up fluid feeling in my vagina.  I knew that if I could make myself come again I would be able to expel that fluid.  So I began rubbing down my clit, rhythmically rubbing over and over, the feeling of pent up fluid grew and grew, there were a few times when this feeling was ‘i need to pee-like’  but on the whole it was intensely pleasurable.  He was still hovering over me, I was lightly grasping his forearm.

I believe this wank was somewhat short and when I did come I ejaculated.  I squirted a whole fuck load of fluid out of me.

He exclaimed and dropped back to watch, I kept rubbing my clit and would let the fluid build up and with a squeeze I’d squirt again and holy fucking shit every time I expelled ejaculate it felt like a big squelchy orgasm.  I kept going, rubbing my clit and touching the fluid coming out of me, rubbing it over my clit and squirting more.  He was lowering his face to my pussy and I was squirting on his face, he opened his mouth and ate my cum.

Every time I thought I had nothing left to squirt, I would be able to keep on going.

He wanted to fuck, so we pulled off his clothes and he lay back.  I straddled him and slid his cock inside me and I fucked him with total abandon, only stopping when I once again orgasmed and ejaculated all over his cock, my fluid pooling on his belly.  I squirted multiple times on him, before switching to being on all fours with him fucking me from behind.  I asked him to come in me, he fucked me harder and faster til he came, I promptly orgasmed again and squirted his and my cum all over him and my bed.

I sat up on my knees and rubbing my clit pushed big, wet drops out of me and down onto my bed.  It sounded like rain on my taunt bedsheets.

After this I lay down exhausted, finally spent of all my liquid.

I could of cried I felt so fucking happy.

Me and my boy lay in my big puddle and held each other.

I now have a boyfriend, who is actually my best friend.

Without going into stupendous detail, something that has been rolling around in my mind for a whiles now, actually happened.

It’s crazy and scary and very cool…  I’m so bloody frightened of fucking this up.  This is important, very very important and I seem to fail at these sorts of things in general.  I am trying not to focus on this however, he’s an awesome guy and I feel optimistic that this will work.

The first night we spent together did not exactly include sex…  But there was pretty much everything else going on.  It was awesome, we were both mega trashed and just played and played and played.  He had been out the night before so eventually bombed out, we were cuddled together and I masturbated myself to orgasm in his arms.  So totally fucking rad.

Although since then I have been bleeding ever so slightly, which is odd but it has seemingly stopped today otherwise I would have been starting to get pretty worried and been calling my doctor to go in.

So, yeah, let the sexy times roll…

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