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This is the last stills post before the main event.  I’m saving it for Christmas 🙂

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Something very special is on the horizon…

Go visit these guys here: Dodson and Ross

Sung to the tune of Changes by David Bowie.

Soooo, later on this week I am heading back into the ifeelmyself.com studio to touch myself up on camera.  It has been a really, really long time since I shot proper website content type stuff.  I’m really excited, I’ve found myself daydreaming about it since I booked it in.

I’m currently feeling super positive about my body and sexuality, the timing is fantastic.  I have been ‘testing’ my capacity for orgasm recently and am really looking forward to pushing myself as far as I can go when I’m shooting.

I will also have my sweet rip-off Hitachi on hand.  I have mastered the art and can now give myself the most toe scrunching and body twitching orgasms with it.

Expect a report on my experience, am aiming to have an excellent time though!

Intertubes, I have something to tell you, something kinda huge…

I asked my partner to marry me.

He said yes.

I was dressed as a unicorn at the time.  It was kind of surreal.  Surreal in the awesomest possible way.

We were laughing and crying.  I don’t think I’ll ever forget that moment for as long as I live.

This intense moment was followed immediately by an intense, emotional, pleasurable and beautiful fuck.  After he came, we lay together and he helped me orgasm too.  I left a small, but satisfying puddle on the bed.

Life is pretty excellent, ya know.

Day 2, Sunday, the final frontier. To be honest, I woke up on Sunday missing the shit out of my partner and I really just wanted to go home. I rugged up in a blanket, grabbed my towel and toiletries and headed for the showers. It was exactly what I needed, a long, hot shower and just some time inside my head and away from other people.

(I should add to this write up, that both Saturday and Sunday of Sex Camp were 8am starts, so I was out of bed before 7:30am both days. I usually get up some time after 8am to go to work, I mean, it was okay, but I have been feeling pretty damn tired all week post-camp.)

Brekkie was once again stunning, I grabbed a serve and headed over to my friends in the meals tent, then I found out there was BACON. The decent sized serving of pork shaped goodness along with my veggie fare perked me right up and brought a smile to my face.

My first workshop for the day was directly after breakfast, it was called ‘Healing Sexuality’ and I wasn’t too sure exactly what it would entail. I attended to try to gain some insight and move past my aversion to touch. When I say that, I mean I do not wish to be touched by strangers, in any way and I am extremely guarded with my personal space in general of late. I have an extremely visceral reaction if a breach of that space is made. I never used to be this way. I am certainly not this way with people I am close to, although at times I will go to some lengths to avoid being touched in general. I’m not sure when it started, but it seems to come and go… I used to want to literally hug the world and was open to all kinds of encounters, but something has fundamentally changed and it often makes me feel quite unhappy to be so ‘closed’.

The workshop was brilliant, it was run by the woman who was manning the Women’s Tent the previous day when I was feeling anxious and had been really fantastic and grounded towards me. Super calm too. The best thing for anxiety is a calm quiet person who doesn’t expect anything of you.

We all sat in a huge circle and so many people voiced their own painful experiences, from psychological elements of damaged sexuality, through to many people present standing up and voicing that they had genital herpes. I saw so much courage in the people around me, so many different stories and it was really eye opening to the stigma of STIs and STDs.

I then went and grabbed some lunch, caught up with the folks I knew and decided to skip the next workshop and pack up my belongings so I could leave directly after the final workshop of the day. Thankfully the initial ‘you cannot leave sex camp until the closing ceremony’ BS had been adjusted, you could leave anytime after lunch. I was fairly annoyed at how the leaving Sex Camp was handled, basically up until Sunday apparently if you wanted to leave you *had* to find one of two people and only then would permission to head off would be granted. We were told that organisers didn’t want it to be easy to leave. I was not and am still not cool with this, on any level, it made me feel extremely uncomfortable and once again a major issue very poorly and insensitively handled by organisers.

As far as I was concerned, anyone with a walkie talkie could radio and I would be leaving, if I needed to, thank you very fucking much. Yet again, another scenario that set me on guard.

I packed up my shit into my car, wrote some more and then read my book on space for a whiles. The final workshop I attended was run by a lovely and rather amazing lady I sort of know, but have definitely felt much admiration for. It was called ‘Genital Show and Tell’ and was a women only space. The first half of the workshop was watching Betty Dodson’s film ‘Body Sex’ which has kind of changed my life, but that is a story for another day. The film being shown was impromptu, but actually created the perfect setting as it gave an idea of what the workshop was trying to achieve.

For the demonstrative part of the workshop it was a small circle of women, varying ages and experiences. Basically, starting with the workshop presenter, we each showed our genitals in turn and pointed out various parts of ourselves with use of a hand mirror. It was possibly the most confronting, bonding, amazing, beautiful and full on thing I have ever done in my life. One woman had given birth to 5 children before realising she was gay! On her last child she tore a little and chose not to have stitches, you could see where the tears had healed. So many incredible stories and experiences of owning a vulva, yoni, pussy and all the different, winding journeys toward orgasm, love and self acceptance.

I left this workshop absolutely exhilarated. A perfect note to end Sex Camp on.

I said goodbye to my friends, jumped in my car and headed home to my much missed partner.

Right now I am still reflecting on my experiences from Sex Camp… There were so many positives and negatives, it has been difficult to weigh up my opinion overall. I have read so many glowing blog entries from other attendees and wonder if I just too critical, although I think for a $350 ticket to ride, I definitely expected much more and certainly far, far better organisational efforts. As someone that puts of their own events I know almost exactly what goes into such a weekend and how much easier having a budget makes that process.

There is a part of me that wants to speak and run a workshop at the next Camp. There is a part of me that wants to put on my own multi-day, sex-postive space for learning and development. And there is a part of me that thinks I would be better to explore areas of sexuality that interest me much more intensively, than a weekend of bits of this and that…

It has really taken me this entire week to recover, so to speak. Although it feels good to have my experience and thoughts, thus far, written down. For now.

I am sure I will have more to say about Camp in the future, for now I think I need to continue to digest everything.

I am really hoping that a tentative offer to attend this totally amazing space does eventuate for me: Sex Camp

When the opportunity initially presented itself I had heard very little about it, except in passing. I am definitely super wary of things that are potentially contact based sex and sexuality workshops – I think there are SO many elements to providing a safe space for sexual exploration and basically I don’t want *anyone* touching me that I haven’t explicitly consented to.

Although one of the first things the site addresses is motivation for attending, that’s it’s not 2 day camping orgy and that the workshops etc are non-contact.

I spent a whole night looking at the site with my partner, reading and delving into the ideas and ethos and the errr, facebook group too. (sometimes facebook feels like such a dirty word)

I am sold. It looks like it will be a beautiful space, an incredibly healing space and the kind of space that would be extremely helpful for me at the moment. I think that there would be so many amazing people to talk to as well. My gosh, the workshops and seminars are just mind blowing and not all 100% spirituality based either. I’m a little shy of full blown energetic orgasm type stuff. I think I hear too much about it, from the wrong people in my job.

If I can attend, I would be doing so on my own. Flying solo. I have blessings from my gorgeous man ‘to experience what I want and need to experience’ which is pretty damn special. I’m sure if it’s totally kick ass he would be interested to attend in future, also exciting to think about too.

Aside from anything it has generated some good dialogue between us and made me much more motivated to pursue real life information regarding sex and sexuality, rather than staying safely behind my computer screen.

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