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Hey folks,

Sorry for disappearing. I had to have all my wisdom teeth and a molar surgically removed and it has totally knocked me on my arse. I am currently chasing up my surgeon as the painkillers I was prescribed have made me really ill as well. Trying to get some new medicine sorted today so I can sleep through the night, at least once, before I have to be back at work tomorrow.

Hoping to be back in front of my pc, ranting and flashing my tits, really soon.

xx

Ps. The kickstarter I was backing ‘License to Pimp’ made their funding goal! Yipppeeeeee 😀

I know who I’m voting for tomorrow, do you?

Australian Sex Party. Equal rights for everyone

My life is kinda spastically busy atm.  Between insanely busy work, friends, my own stuff, family, moving house, social commitments etc etc sometimes me and the guy struggle to get time together.  And some of the time when we do actually get to see each other I’m so buggered I can barely make sentences… let alone perform any kind of amazing sexual feats.

Which sometimes means my partner is initiating sex that there is no way in hell I can participate in without actually falling asleep mid fuck.

In my past relationships, including fuck buddy situations, my libido has far outstripped my partners and I have thus emasculated them (or so aforementioned partners have claimed).

I’m currently in a position where, for the first time, my partner wants sex more than I do.  And to be perfectly honest I just don’t know how to deal with it…

It’s such an odd feeling and in these instances of him wanting to fool around when I all I want/need to do is sleep, I’m not handling it real well.  Especially if we’re in bed and I’m already half asleep, I’m pretty much making an annoyed sound and shaking off his hands.  When I’m in the cold light of day and recall this behaviour it makes me cringe inwardly, for being such a snooty bitch.

I am going to talk to him about how I’ve been feeling about this, but at the same time it’s tough – sometimes when I am half asleep and he starts touching me I get interested enough to be fully aroused and happy to engage in sex…  I can’t foretell those times and sometimes when he does start to touch me as I’m falling asleep, I think to myself “there is no way in hell” and end up having crazy late night sex.

I feel kind of afraid of the sex I’ll miss out on by talking about this – as soon as we do talk about it I think it will affect the way, if not the frequency of when he initiates sex…  But at the same time I feel awful for being a grumpy cow to him the times he does initiate sex and I am too tired.

I also feel like at my age I shouldn’t even be experiencing this.  How badly is my libido going to die if I have kids and a job and a house to keep?

Right now I have so much on, I just wish life could slow down for a bit so I could get my mojo back.

*sigh*

Through the work I’ve done in various places, from the arty erotica to the mainstream pornography and all that goes in between, there have been situations where the consumer has imposed their will or fantasy of the person I am onto me.

It makes me feel really gross.

It’s one of the very few things that can make me feel bad about doing nude photo-shoots/videos and masturbation stuff.

Seriously just because someone has seen me (or anyone else for that matter!) naked on the intertubes or have an orgasm and most likely rubbed one out themselves to that content certainly does not mean they know me or the person/s in the shoot, film or whatever.  We don’t have a relationship despite what fantasy of me you may create in your head to get off on my orgasm or naked body or whatever.

I understand that by putting myself ‘out there’ that I can’t control who sees me and how they respond, I get that.  But the whole misconception that I must be a “hot slut” totally gagging for any kind of attention I can get makes me sick.  And receiving vile emails about my “huge pussy lips” isn’t appreciated.

Reality check.  How is this okay?  Would you say this utter bullshit to my face.  I don’t think so.

People in pornography and erotica are living, breathing, feeling, emoting human beings with personalities and whole lives AWAY from the adult industry.

For the love of Babs, give the hardworking men and women in porn the respect and kudos they deserve.  Honestly folks, how hard is it to be polite?  So please make your criticisms constructive, your praise positive without the leeriness and ask yourself wwbd if she read the email you were about to send me.

/end rant

babs

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